The Big Ideas of 2012

The American Dream

I have no deviant desires.
The American Dream
Brent Humphreys

Available in: English, Español, Français, Türkçe.

I am married and I live in the suburbs.

My street looks like every street you have seen in every commercial since 1957.Ever since I first came here, I couldn’t think of living anywhere else.

I have two children – both bright – a girl and a boy. I can’t wait to watch them grow up.

I love my car. My impeccable home. I love being fit, and I love a good day’s work. I love being straight and never confused about my sexual identity. I love my wife. I love being monogamous.

I love my neighbors who come out on Saturday mornings and cut their grass, and chitchat to me while we washdown our cars and driveways.

Every second Saturday, after the kids are safely off to bed, I take a Viagra. My wife and I will then finish watching our Saturday night crime drama, and then for the next 20 or so minutes I remind my wife of why she really married me in the first place. After which she usually takes a Sleep Eze-type product because she says she likes getting a good Saturday night sleep.

The kids are always up early on Sunday mornings, diligently doing their homework at the kitchen table, while Mom bakes cookies and makes bread in her new breadmaker. That’s when the kitchen really shines. We don’t go to church, except for the high holidays, but we still know we are blessed.

My wife booked us a trip to the Caribbean. She said we could get double airmiles if we put the entire trip on our VISA card.

When our neighbors ask how the trip was I tell them it was brilliant, just as theirs had been. It’s not a lie.

Sure, we all comb our hair the same way, and we are a little obsessed with dandelions and flossing our teeth. And so what if we all like to go to the same movies, watch the same TV, and eat the same popcorn. It’s a good life here.

Uncomplicated.

I’m not a complicated man.

I have no deviant desires.

—Sherwood Hinze

232 comments on the article “The American Dream”

Displaying 91 - 100 of 232

Page 10 of 24

Anonymous

It states that he was a teacher at a secondary school (in Canada that means high school), and that he had sex with a student at that school, and was fired for it. Admittedly, that doesn't sound like the most egregious example of molestation one could think of as the girl was most likely at least 14, but there are still creepy power dynamics involved.

And the fact that he got burned for it could explain his need to demonize the very benign lifestyle choices of his strawmen.

Anonymous

It states that he was a teacher at a secondary school (in Canada that means high school), and that he had sex with a student at that school, and was fired for it. Admittedly, that doesn't sound like the most egregious example of molestation one could think of as the girl was most likely at least 14, but there are still creepy power dynamics involved.

And the fact that he got burned for it could explain his need to demonize the very benign lifestyle choices of his strawmen.

Anonymous

...or maybe the girl was 18 or 19 and Hinze was 23 or 24 and their relationship was in violation of a school policy for any number of reasons. we don't know. with assholes such as yourself throwing the phrase "sexually molesting a child" around I can't blame him for demonizing someone. additionally, it strikes me as shallow thought on your part to believe so easily that his strawmen have benign lifestyles.

Anonymous

...or maybe the girl was 18 or 19 and Hinze was 23 or 24 and their relationship was in violation of a school policy for any number of reasons. we don't know. with assholes such as yourself throwing the phrase "sexually molesting a child" around I can't blame him for demonizing someone. additionally, it strikes me as shallow thought on your part to believe so easily that his strawmen have benign lifestyles.

Anonymous

I didn't write the original post with the "sexually molesting a child" phrase. I do think it's relevant because the theme of the poem was conformity vs. "deviance."

So the case posted points to what kind of deviance Hinze feels he's being denied. Yes, she could be 18 or 19 or 13 or 14. The fact is that high school teachers who have sex with students get fired, period. Everywhere. Inner city and suburb. It's generally frowned upon in pretty much all strata of society. Hinze of course is aggrieved primarily with one strata (the suburban middle class), the same one he and--the editors of this magazine--would have been predisposed, by politics, to blaming for his troubles even before he got busted banging his Canadian Beauty. Try it in the hood and see what happens.:)

Anonymous

I didn't write the original post with the "sexually molesting a child" phrase. I do think it's relevant because the theme of the poem was conformity vs. "deviance."

So the case posted points to what kind of deviance Hinze feels he's being denied. Yes, she could be 18 or 19 or 13 or 14. The fact is that high school teachers who have sex with students get fired, period. Everywhere. Inner city and suburb. It's generally frowned upon in pretty much all strata of society. Hinze of course is aggrieved primarily with one strata (the suburban middle class), the same one he and--the editors of this magazine--would have been predisposed, by politics, to blaming for his troubles even before he got busted banging his Canadian Beauty. Try it in the hood and see what happens.:)

Anonymous

you lost me. so your saying there is no report about him sexually molesting a child, but that doesn't really matter because you assert his firing, politics, this magazine, blame, Canadian Beauty, hood, poem, blah, blah, blah.

Anonymous

you lost me. so your saying there is no report about him sexually molesting a child, but that doesn't really matter because you assert his firing, politics, this magazine, blame, Canadian Beauty, hood, poem, blah, blah, blah.

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