The Big Ideas of 2012

The American Dream

I have no deviant desires.
The American Dream
Brent Humphreys

Available in: English, Español, Français, Türkçe.

I am married and I live in the suburbs.

My street looks like every street you have seen in every commercial since 1957.Ever since I first came here, I couldn’t think of living anywhere else.

I have two children – both bright – a girl and a boy. I can’t wait to watch them grow up.

I love my car. My impeccable home. I love being fit, and I love a good day’s work. I love being straight and never confused about my sexual identity. I love my wife. I love being monogamous.

I love my neighbors who come out on Saturday mornings and cut their grass, and chitchat to me while we washdown our cars and driveways.

Every second Saturday, after the kids are safely off to bed, I take a Viagra. My wife and I will then finish watching our Saturday night crime drama, and then for the next 20 or so minutes I remind my wife of why she really married me in the first place. After which she usually takes a Sleep Eze-type product because she says she likes getting a good Saturday night sleep.

The kids are always up early on Sunday mornings, diligently doing their homework at the kitchen table, while Mom bakes cookies and makes bread in her new breadmaker. That’s when the kitchen really shines. We don’t go to church, except for the high holidays, but we still know we are blessed.

My wife booked us a trip to the Caribbean. She said we could get double airmiles if we put the entire trip on our VISA card.

When our neighbors ask how the trip was I tell them it was brilliant, just as theirs had been. It’s not a lie.

Sure, we all comb our hair the same way, and we are a little obsessed with dandelions and flossing our teeth. And so what if we all like to go to the same movies, watch the same TV, and eat the same popcorn. It’s a good life here.

Uncomplicated.

I’m not a complicated man.

I have no deviant desires.

—Sherwood Hinze

232 comments on the article “The American Dream”

Displaying 211 - 220 of 232

Page 22 of 24

Anonymous

Agreed. It was well written, but you're branding entire communities as thoughtless automatons. Sure, there may be plenty of close-minded, detached sheeple in the suburbs, but there are plenty of those people in cities. You're making fun of a way of life which many people enjoy, and why shouldn't they? Stability, a safe community to raise your kids in, etc. What's wrong with that?

Anonymous

Agreed. It was well written, but you're branding entire communities as thoughtless automatons. Sure, there may be plenty of close-minded, detached sheeple in the suburbs, but there are plenty of those people in cities. You're making fun of a way of life which many people enjoy, and why shouldn't they? Stability, a safe community to raise your kids in, etc. What's wrong with that?

Anonymous

I didn't read it but I sure agree with you. I am completely above all this ever present stuff. And as for the poem about the pretty worm. Wow.

Anonymous

I didn't read it but I sure agree with you. I am completely above all this ever present stuff. And as for the poem about the pretty worm. Wow.

Anonymous

Sherwood Hinze Excellent work... you really captured the zombie matrix so many people live in.. time to toss off the shackles and come alive... Keep writing!!! http://www.thecactusland.com/

Anonymous

Sherwood Hinze Excellent work... you really captured the zombie matrix so many people live in.. time to toss off the shackles and come alive... Keep writing!!! http://www.thecactusland.com/

firstoccupier1981

Occupiers, It sounds like to me we are ready to improve the middle, and working class financial condition and the Main St. economy. As the first occupier I have been working on decreasing the wealth gap since 1981. I am an economic scholar, author and retired small businessman. I am Chairman of a special Committee For Economic Reform and A Better Economic Future. A better future; Isn't this what we're all working towards? You say you have the brightest minds of several generations standing by. Well lets put them to work getting out the word that there is a better way to prosperity than what either of the Republicans or the Democrats are proposing. Cuts in vital programs is not the answer. Neither is massive deficit spending Keynesian Economic Policies. Then what is the solution? Have your brightest minds look over the information posted at www.foreclosurecrisissolved.wordpress.com/ www.recoverygovforthepeople.wordpress.com/ and economysflaw.wordpress.com/ Read: "People's Economic Recovery Plan, A Private Sector Solution To Job Creation and Economic Recovery," and "Eliminate The Fed Income Tax and Six Other Fixes For our Economy" to start with. Then get back to me. [email protected] We will let President Obama, Congress, and the 1% know where the real power is!!

edit reply

firstoccupier1981

Occupiers, It sounds like to me we are ready to improve the middle, and working class financial condition and the Main St. economy. As the first occupier I have been working on decreasing the wealth gap since 1981. I am an economic scholar, author and retired small businessman. I am Chairman of a special Committee For Economic Reform and A Better Economic Future. A better future; Isn't this what we're all working towards? You say you have the brightest minds of several generations standing by. Well lets put them to work getting out the word that there is a better way to prosperity than what either of the Republicans or the Democrats are proposing. Cuts in vital programs is not the answer. Neither is massive deficit spending Keynesian Economic Policies. Then what is the solution? Have your brightest minds look over the information posted at www.foreclosurecrisissolved.wordpress.com/ www.recoverygovforthepeople.wordpress.com/ and economysflaw.wordpress.com/ Read: "People's Economic Recovery Plan, A Private Sector Solution To Job Creation and Economic Recovery," and "Eliminate The Fed Income Tax and Six Other Fixes For our Economy" to start with. Then get back to me. [email protected] We will let President Obama, Congress, and the 1% know where the real power is!!

edit reply

Anonymous

I get the sarcasm, but it's misplaced. The problem young people have now - the kind that occupy Wall street, is not the "emptiness of suburbia" (whatever that may mean), but the inaccessibility of suburbia. Like most people, they want good jobs, nice homes with gardens, cars. The kind of standard of living that my generation (boomer) takes for granted. Jane Jacobs was wrong: people do not want to live in small urban apartments and take mass transit. They want what their parents have. Beneath the mockery of the suburban life is a thinly-disguised envy.

Anonymous

I get the sarcasm, but it's misplaced. The problem young people have now - the kind that occupy Wall street, is not the "emptiness of suburbia" (whatever that may mean), but the inaccessibility of suburbia. Like most people, they want good jobs, nice homes with gardens, cars. The kind of standard of living that my generation (boomer) takes for granted. Jane Jacobs was wrong: people do not want to live in small urban apartments and take mass transit. They want what their parents have. Beneath the mockery of the suburban life is a thinly-disguised envy.

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