The Big Ideas of 2012

The American Dream

I have no deviant desires.
The American Dream
Brent Humphreys

Available in: English, Español, Français, Türkçe.

I am married and I live in the suburbs.

My street looks like every street you have seen in every commercial since 1957.Ever since I first came here, I couldn’t think of living anywhere else.

I have two children – both bright – a girl and a boy. I can’t wait to watch them grow up.

I love my car. My impeccable home. I love being fit, and I love a good day’s work. I love being straight and never confused about my sexual identity. I love my wife. I love being monogamous.

I love my neighbors who come out on Saturday mornings and cut their grass, and chitchat to me while we washdown our cars and driveways.

Every second Saturday, after the kids are safely off to bed, I take a Viagra. My wife and I will then finish watching our Saturday night crime drama, and then for the next 20 or so minutes I remind my wife of why she really married me in the first place. After which she usually takes a Sleep Eze-type product because she says she likes getting a good Saturday night sleep.

The kids are always up early on Sunday mornings, diligently doing their homework at the kitchen table, while Mom bakes cookies and makes bread in her new breadmaker. That’s when the kitchen really shines. We don’t go to church, except for the high holidays, but we still know we are blessed.

My wife booked us a trip to the Caribbean. She said we could get double airmiles if we put the entire trip on our VISA card.

When our neighbors ask how the trip was I tell them it was brilliant, just as theirs had been. It’s not a lie.

Sure, we all comb our hair the same way, and we are a little obsessed with dandelions and flossing our teeth. And so what if we all like to go to the same movies, watch the same TV, and eat the same popcorn. It’s a good life here.

Uncomplicated.

I’m not a complicated man.

I have no deviant desires.

—Sherwood Hinze

232 comments on the article “The American Dream”

Displaying 151 - 160 of 232

Page 16 of 24

Anonymous

Come on guys, lets not be judgemental. Perhaps Sherwood is just confused about his sexuality. Unlike the poor, afflicted, heteronormal protagonist of his poem who only likes to have consensual sex with the adult woman that he's married to. What an evil conformist!

Anonymous

Come on guys, lets not be judgemental. Perhaps Sherwood is just confused about his sexuality. Unlike the poor, afflicted, heteronormal protagonist of his poem who only likes to have consensual sex with the adult woman that he's married to. What an evil conformist!

greg_2

"I don't know if this is true or not, but..."

Typical smear job. And see how it works... see all the comments it generated... Well done my Anonymous (coward) friend. Well done.

Just like the Anti-Semite smear.

I don't know if this is true or not, but someone said Anonymous peed his pants in school!
I don't know if this is true or not, but someone said Anonymous farted in class!
I don't know if this is true or not, but Anonymous has spread a vile and vicious hate-ful rumor.

Please find some colaborating evidence.

--
"Dualist provocaters and thieves are easily sniffed out."

greg_2

"I don't know if this is true or not, but..."

Typical smear job. And see how it works... see all the comments it generated... Well done my Anonymous (coward) friend. Well done.

Just like the Anti-Semite smear.

I don't know if this is true or not, but someone said Anonymous peed his pants in school!
I don't know if this is true or not, but someone said Anonymous farted in class!
I don't know if this is true or not, but Anonymous has spread a vile and vicious hate-ful rumor.

Please find some colaborating evidence.

--
"Dualist provocaters and thieves are easily sniffed out."

Anonymous

Living on the turmoiled
unturfed soil
of the new tomorrow
I disbelieve the tales
of conformist sorrow.

Just as the utopian fifties
never did exist
so also the dystopian myth
fails to resist
the torment of the real.

So there is no easy answer
pro or con,
for the days to come
or those that are gone.
Embrace ALL change with joy.

Anonymous

Living on the turmoiled
unturfed soil
of the new tomorrow
I disbelieve the tales
of conformist sorrow.

Just as the utopian fifties
never did exist
so also the dystopian myth
fails to resist
the torment of the real.

So there is no easy answer
pro or con,
for the days to come
or those that are gone.
Embrace ALL change with joy.

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