The Big Ideas of 2012

The American Dream

I have no deviant desires.
The American Dream
Brent Humphreys

Available in: English, Español, Français, Türkçe.

I am married and I live in the suburbs.

My street looks like every street you have seen in every commercial since 1957.Ever since I first came here, I couldn’t think of living anywhere else.

I have two children – both bright – a girl and a boy. I can’t wait to watch them grow up.

I love my car. My impeccable home. I love being fit, and I love a good day’s work. I love being straight and never confused about my sexual identity. I love my wife. I love being monogamous.

I love my neighbors who come out on Saturday mornings and cut their grass, and chitchat to me while we washdown our cars and driveways.

Every second Saturday, after the kids are safely off to bed, I take a Viagra. My wife and I will then finish watching our Saturday night crime drama, and then for the next 20 or so minutes I remind my wife of why she really married me in the first place. After which she usually takes a Sleep Eze-type product because she says she likes getting a good Saturday night sleep.

The kids are always up early on Sunday mornings, diligently doing their homework at the kitchen table, while Mom bakes cookies and makes bread in her new breadmaker. That’s when the kitchen really shines. We don’t go to church, except for the high holidays, but we still know we are blessed.

My wife booked us a trip to the Caribbean. She said we could get double airmiles if we put the entire trip on our VISA card.

When our neighbors ask how the trip was I tell them it was brilliant, just as theirs had been. It’s not a lie.

Sure, we all comb our hair the same way, and we are a little obsessed with dandelions and flossing our teeth. And so what if we all like to go to the same movies, watch the same TV, and eat the same popcorn. It’s a good life here.

Uncomplicated.

I’m not a complicated man.

I have no deviant desires.

—Sherwood Hinze

232 comments on the article “The American Dream”

Displaying 101 - 110 of 232

Page 11 of 24

Anonymous

There is a report that he had sex with a high school student who may have been underage or not. We don't know. I didn't use the term "sexually molesting a child," which may or may not be applicable. Whether or not it is, teacher-student sex at a high school is generally frowned upon across all strata of society, not just the suburban middle class that Hinze apparently feels has persecuted him as a "deviant." If he feels he has been persecuted wrongly, why issue a blanket condemnation of one demographic when others would have handled his case the same way? Couldn't possibly be that he is politically predisposed to hating the suburban middle class.

Anonymous

There is a report that he had sex with a high school student who may have been underage or not. We don't know. I didn't use the term "sexually molesting a child," which may or may not be applicable. Whether or not it is, teacher-student sex at a high school is generally frowned upon across all strata of society, not just the suburban middle class that Hinze apparently feels has persecuted him as a "deviant." If he feels he has been persecuted wrongly, why issue a blanket condemnation of one demographic when others would have handled his case the same way? Couldn't possibly be that he is politically predisposed to hating the suburban middle class.

Chris Honeycutt

Who said that this poem is about that incident? Or, in fact, that Hinze isn't holding his protaganist up as some sort of ideal? What's the Buddha nature of a suburbanite?

Chris Honeycutt

Who said that this poem is about that incident? Or, in fact, that Hinze isn't holding his protaganist up as some sort of ideal? What's the Buddha nature of a suburbanite?

Anonymous

I don't think the "piece" is about that incident, but the incident is probably relevant to what he refers to as deviance.

I think most suburbanites just want to provide a safe and happy environment for their families. Some may think that the suburban model is sterile or wasteful or whatever... fine, I prefer urban life myself. Anyone who wants should feel free to create new, better models without demanding that other people fund them.

Massive re-orderings of society like those espoused by Lasn tend to have worse consequences than boring-ness, waste and pizza bagels. The misanthrope in Hinze's ditty and his selectivity as regards to what groups he blames for his deviant status may jibe well with Lasn's agenda, but I'm still free to point them out, and I will.

Anonymous

I don't think the "piece" is about that incident, but the incident is probably relevant to what he refers to as deviance.

I think most suburbanites just want to provide a safe and happy environment for their families. Some may think that the suburban model is sterile or wasteful or whatever... fine, I prefer urban life myself. Anyone who wants should feel free to create new, better models without demanding that other people fund them.

Massive re-orderings of society like those espoused by Lasn tend to have worse consequences than boring-ness, waste and pizza bagels. The misanthrope in Hinze's ditty and his selectivity as regards to what groups he blames for his deviant status may jibe well with Lasn's agenda, but I'm still free to point them out, and I will.

Anonymous

Well, maybe tomorrow he'll have a piece that rails against the crushing conformity of inner city blacks or urban liberals or the rural poor. His own brand of deviance doesn't tend to go over well in those communities either. I doubt it though. It seems pretty apparent that he has adopted a well-worn meme for understanding his troubles, he's not likely to... deviate from it. Eh?

Anonymous

Well, maybe tomorrow he'll have a piece that rails against the crushing conformity of inner city blacks or urban liberals or the rural poor. His own brand of deviance doesn't tend to go over well in those communities either. I doubt it though. It seems pretty apparent that he has adopted a well-worn meme for understanding his troubles, he's not likely to... deviate from it. Eh?

Pages

Add a new comment

Comments are closed.