What is the dollar value of a human?

Dead or alive.

Courtesy of Maleonn / Galerie Paris-Beijing

The US Environmental Protection Agency has calculated the value of a human life at $9.1 million, up from $6.8 million during the Bush era. The Food and Drug Administration's current estimate is $7.9 million, up from $2.9 million since 2008. Meanwhile, the transportation Department is sticking with its $6 million figure. Generally though, experts say the long-term trend is upward, with top human matter fetching big dollars. A lung alone goes for over $100,000 USD. Add to that bone marrow, extracted antibodies, blood and sperm donations, female eggs, bio-voltage, medical testing opportunities, lifetime taxation, ears, eyes, knees, hearts, livers and future earning potential and it all starts to add up. If you are feeling like a million bucks though, you shouldn’t. This rehashed tragedy of the commons scheme is about as dead in the water as a Hezbollah ten points of negotiation memorandum.

The only real authority on a human body's worth is the periodic table. It says a corpses’ raw resources are worth about a dollar. Sulfur probably has the most value once the water is drained. It’s used to make matches. That said, there is still reason to believe in a corpse's inflated worth. A recent report financed by the Department of Homeland Security suggested that preventing a death from terrorism now costs 100 percent more than other deaths. Invest in sulfur.

Darren Fleet and Kono Matsu