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A Last Goodbye

This April Fools, what will you do?
Ronald McDonald: A Last Goodbye

In 1963 Ronald McDonald broke every rule in advertising when he stunned children by speaking to them directly, saying:

“Here I am kids. Hey, isn’t watching TV fun? Especially when you got delicious McDonald’s hamburgers. I know we’re going to be friends too ‘cause I like to do everything boys and girls like to do. Especially when it comes to eating those delicious McDonald’s hamburgers.”

But now, almost half a century and an obesity epidemic later, the tide has turned. Ronald’s old childhood chums have become supersized, diabetic adults and aren’t quite so gullible anymore. Today’s parents are a lot less likely to permit Ronald to enter their living rooms and address their children directly.

Aging Ronalds may come to a violent end. Ronnies are vanishing from restaurants and malls. Some have been found hanged in trees, lying in landfills, body parts scattered in unlikely places. Some call it vandalism, others, citizen justice. With April Fools’ approaching, we can only hold our breath and wring our hands with concern for our dear old friend, wondering what hooligans will do next …

—Kono Matsu

30 comments on the article “A Last Goodbye”

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apparent vandal

i will buy a bill board with a racy/offensive ad then put it up in front of your house/ in front of your childrens school and see what you think...everything is for sale; dose not mean you own it

apparent vandal

i will buy a bill board with a racy/offensive ad then put it up in front of your house/ in front of your childrens school and see what you think...everything is for sale; dose not mean you own it

Anonymous.

Um No. The whole idea of property is ridiculous. We don't own anything. That is just a case of human megalomania.

Did anyone ever asks the people's opinions before throwing all this junk, this suburban wasteland of a environment into our faces?

Anonymous.

Um No. The whole idea of property is ridiculous. We don't own anything. That is just a case of human megalomania.

Did anyone ever asks the people's opinions before throwing all this junk, this suburban wasteland of a environment into our faces?

social retard

it seems to me that people are not recognizing this as meme warfare. regardless of your opinion on the matter, a few individuals chose to attack the clearly sordid system of global food distribution. regardless of your opinion you now know about it, and so these individuals have accomplished their end. this is but a tiny nervous impulse sending a minute tremor through the collective human mind. the idea is to increase the size of these tremors, increase their numbers, until society suffers a massive seizure from an overdose of consumerism without limits, reality without nature, and desire without control. our lives are out of balance and we must do more than whine to fix this problem. THERE IS A WAR GOING ON FOR YOUR MIND! on one side there is a beheaded ronald. on the other f18's, deforestation, and mental and physical illness brought on by a self-destructive system we were all born into. you pick a side.

social retard

it seems to me that people are not recognizing this as meme warfare. regardless of your opinion on the matter, a few individuals chose to attack the clearly sordid system of global food distribution. regardless of your opinion you now know about it, and so these individuals have accomplished their end. this is but a tiny nervous impulse sending a minute tremor through the collective human mind. the idea is to increase the size of these tremors, increase their numbers, until society suffers a massive seizure from an overdose of consumerism without limits, reality without nature, and desire without control. our lives are out of balance and we must do more than whine to fix this problem. THERE IS A WAR GOING ON FOR YOUR MIND! on one side there is a beheaded ronald. on the other f18's, deforestation, and mental and physical illness brought on by a self-destructive system we were all born into. you pick a side.

social retard

"If America could be, once again, a nation of self-reliant farmers, craftsmen, hunters, ranchers, and artists, then the rich would have little power to dominate others. Neither to serve nor to rule: That was the American dream." -- Edward Abbey

thank you for reading these words.

social retard

"If America could be, once again, a nation of self-reliant farmers, craftsmen, hunters, ranchers, and artists, then the rich would have little power to dominate others. Neither to serve nor to rule: That was the American dream." -- Edward Abbey

thank you for reading these words.

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