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Zuccotti lives again!

New tactics take hold.

Accounts are still coming in, but sources say that tens, maybe hundreds of thousands of dead Iraqis, have been seen pouring into lower Manhattan, the majority congregating within Zuccotti Park. While the zombies appear to be peaceful, their lack of explicit demands is fueling public unease. Officials are waiting on a court ruling on the legality of the occupation, and insiders suggest an eviction ruling could come down within the hour. Susie Day from MRZine has the story so far:

With the war in Iraq now officially over and the Occupy Wall Street movement less visible, life in New York was expected to return to normal. Instead, several recent passersby in Manhattan’s financial district have reported seeing thousands of deceased Iraqi civilians taking up residence at Zuccotti Park.

Although the Iraqis remain largely silent and immobile, some witnesses claim to have seen individual deceased mothers, students, and the elderly holding up the backs of old pizza boxes, on which have been scrawled the English words, “Remember Me.”

Public reaction has been mixed. Some say the dead are “occupying” the park in nonviolent protest; others accuse the Iraqis of faking their own deaths in order to flout U.S. immigration laws. The Bloomberg administration, having evicted hundreds of living protesters from the park in mid-November, has thus far maintained a wary tolerance.

“I’m not sure we can give twinkles to this new batch of malcontents,” stated Mayor Michael Bloomberg at a press conference yesterday, wiggling his upwardly pointing fingers in the OWS sign of agreement. “But so long as they don’t discourage business as usual, New York will allow them to stay.”

“In your face, Bloomberg!” shouted Sally Street, an Occupy movement protester interviewed in an atrium on Wall Street, where an activist meeting was taking place.

“Just let the cops try and bust these Iraqis,” continued Ms. Street, one of Zuccotti Park’s recent evictees. “These folks are impervious to pepper spray. They don’t mind the cold weather. They never sleep, so they don’t need blankets or tents. And they’re clearly not going to bug the local merchants to use their bathrooms. Hey, this is what democracy looks like.”

Other OWS protesters greeted this statement with downwardly wiggling “de-twinkle” fingers, to express disagreement. “Why do you have to be dead in order to occupy public space?” queried Mike Check, frequent presence at the OWS General Assembly. “I mean, if these Iraqi dudes are supposed to be, uh, no longer with us, how come they’re still with us?”

“Maybe we need them here,” called a lone voice somewhere amid the crowd. “Maybe, if we want the Occupy movement to last, we’ve got to see the ordinary people our government has killed all over the world as part of the 99 percent.”

According to an unofficial count, the number of deceased Iraqis inhabiting Zuccotti Park is around 126,000. Interestingly, this figure coincides with the conservative estimate of Iraqi civilians killed as a direct result of military violence since the war began in March 2003. Other sources claim the Iraqi death toll is well over 1,000,000, not counting another 500,000 Iraqis, mostly children, who died due to earlier U.S. economic sanctions against Iraq.

“Oh, who cares how many of those ne’er-do-wells expired?” remarked Marge N. Call, financial analyst whose condominium is near Zuccotti Park, and who had strolled by walking her daschund. “It was bad enough when living Americans were drumming and defecating here, but dead Arabs? Even if they’re clean and quiet they’re much more annoying, morally.” Ms. Call walked briskly away, neglecting to clean up her dog’s leavings.

“This is also an insult to the 3,000 Americans who perished so tragically on September 11,” added Eustace Tilley, prosperous man-about-town, who frequently appears on the cover of The New Yorker. Mr. Tilley has spearheaded “Bless Our Bull,” an ad hoc committee to protect the Wall Street “Charging Bull” sculpture from anti-capitalist vandals.

Regardless, dead Iraqis keep entering the country. Stories have begun circulating that some of these Iraqis are migrating to various foreclosure sites, and sit silently among former homeowners and Occupy movement protesters.

Accounts such as these are, to many politicians, cause for alarm.

Anonymous White House insiders, however, describe such opinions as shortsighted. They add that the U.S. is lucky to be hit with an occupation of the Iraqi dead, and not the Iraqi living. “Imagine what we’d have to deal with if the 3.5 million Iraqis made refugees by the war were to come here,” speculated one source. “We wouldn’t have the faintest idea what to do.”

In quick agreement, the other anonymous White House sources responded with a unanimous flurry of twinkle-fingers, earnestly waving skyward.

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Comments on the article “Zuccotti lives again!”

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Anon

I like the satire, but I feel like this is really disrespectful towards Iraqis who lost their lives to the US empire.

Anonymous

"On The Economy Of The Dead" by John Berger:

1) The dead surround the living. The living are the core of the dead. In this core are the dimensions of time and space. What surrounds the core is timelessness.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST: http://harpers.org/archive/2008/09/0082164

Anonymous

Occupy is dead. It has been squashed, annihilated, and crushed by the all powerful, impenetrable, and reigning force of the 1%. Squished like an impotent little pesky bug.

Every one back to your placid little mind control boxes. The memory wipe will commence in due course.

Witsendnj

I think if anything it's disrespectful to the MILLIONS of other people who have been murdered by the US Empire, starting with Native Americans, continuing through enslaved Africans, the Vietnamese and countless others in between. Can't those zombies fit into Zuccotti Park too?

Anonymous

Shouldn't this image be more available?

Mammon: http://imgur.com/VVgEc

It’s credited to Adbusters, but hard to find on the web.
Please post it!

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