Is Polyamory Revolutionary?
The revolutionary breeze that ushered in the 60s carried with it a desire for sexual liberation and emancipation from the bourgeois, patriarchal norm. By calling into question the fundamental unit of society, the nuclear family, rebellious youth hoped to shake the foundations of staid consumerism.
The Sexual Freedom League, a student group at the University of California – Berkeley, organized nude parties and orgies. The Weather Underground tried to "smash monogamy" with bisexuality and rotating sexual partners. And in 1971 Andreas Baader, founder of the Red Army Faction, captured the sentiment of his generation, exclaiming: "The anti-imperialist struggle and sexual emancipation go hand-in-hand, fucking and shooting are the same thing!"
Now, four decades later, we can discern the faint stirrings of a return to the project of sexual liberation. This time, however, it is not under the flag of "free love" but of "polyamory" that the struggle will be waged.
Experiments in free love were not always a success and in retrospect some former participants now admit there was another form of coercion at work. Free love ceased being free and revolutionary the moment it became obligatory. In his 1971 dystopian sci-fi novel, The World Inside, Robert Silverberg conveys this point brilliantly.
Writing in the midst of the sexual revolution, Silverberg imagines a world where an exponentially growing human population lives in mile high sky scrapers. With limited space, their society adopts sexual norms that avoid tension: promiscuity is encouraged, and it is considered anti-social to turn down a sexual advance. Every night, men sleep with their neighbors wives and wives freely switch partners as well. The result is a world of greater apparent freedom – drugs are also legal – sustained by a severe form of social control: those who resist the free love culture disappear.
Sexual liberation as imagined in the 60s was heavily biased towards a vision where sexual energy was freely flowing, all partners essentially equal, and sex something that ought to be shared without restriction. Against this borderless, formless vision of sex another perspective is gaining traction: the "polyamorous" position that maintains it is the tight bounding of a group, whether it be three or four or more, that is revolutionary.
Polyamory is an outgrowth of the free love movement but instead of looking to the orgy as the model for rebellion it is the notion of a tribe that excites their imagination. There are many visions of polyamory, but the one that many find intriguing is a world where partners are not exchangeable, relationships are stable and promiscuity is often frowned on. Whether polyamory means two women and a man, two men and a woman or two couples who share the same bed, the nuclear, patriarchal family is no where to be found.
Can capitalism exist without its foundation of heterosexual monogamy? Is polyamory inherently revolutionary? To all these questions we must answer: capitalism is a master of recuperation. What first shakes it, soon motivates it, later strengthens it. We will never know which tactics bring it down until we try.
To rupture the consumer myth will take more than protests in the streets and boycotts of consumer goods. It'll require a fundamental shift in the structure of society, a revocation of our libidinal investment. Whether that'll take the form of polyamory or simply neighbors getting to know each other remains to be seen.
Micah White is a Contributing Editor at Adbusters and an independent activist. He lives in Berkeley and is writing a book about the future of activism. www.micahmwhite.com or micah (at) adbusters.org
160 comments on the article “Is Polyamory Revolutionary?”
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Anonymous
If you think everything gets old then you must have ADD or something! Because to others some things never get old! It must suck to hate everything life has to offer. No wonder you're so bitter! Just quit trying to make yourself feel better by being condescending because you think you know it all and are so much wiser than everyone else! If you think society is such bullshit, go kill yourself and leave it! Have fun living and dying alone!
PS: Don't scoff at seriousness and then go on a multi-paragraph rant...it just makes you look like a hypocrite!
PPS: Don't bother making some kind of holier than thou reply, I'm never going to read it!
Anonymous
If you think everything gets old then you must have ADD or something! Because to others some things never get old! It must suck to hate everything life has to offer. No wonder you're so bitter! Just quit trying to make yourself feel better by being condescending because you think you know it all and are so much wiser than everyone else! If you think society is such bullshit, go kill yourself and leave it! Have fun living and dying alone!
PS: Don't scoff at seriousness and then go on a multi-paragraph rant...it just makes you look like a hypocrite!
PPS: Don't bother making some kind of holier than thou reply, I'm never going to read it!
Anonymous
Human beings are tribal creatures.
We support the nuclear family because it our modern day tribe. A polyamory lifestyle would not strengthen a tribe unless it was some kind of swingers group or polygamy and even then this would not work for most people.
Anonymous
Human beings are tribal creatures.
We support the nuclear family because it our modern day tribe. A polyamory lifestyle would not strengthen a tribe unless it was some kind of swingers group or polygamy and even then this would not work for most people.
Gigi
A tribe is banding together of individuals with a common purpose or goal to form a unit that benefits all members. A tribe's custom defines itself - it's social rules and rituals are set by those within it. My tribe is polyamorous, with great emphasis, encouragement, and high value placed on openness, honesty and direct communication in all topics. We consider a situation or idea on our own, form an opinion, and then share it. We are receptive to the viewpoints of others, and mutual respect always trumps pettiness. Call me crazy, but it's working so far.
If polyamory "will not work" for someone, it may be because they have given their sexuality alot of thought and come to their own independent conclusions about what they want and those conclusions happen to fit into mainstream western society. (I know a few people for whom this is they case - they really have *chosen* monogamy). Or, more likely, they haven't thought far enough outside the box for long enough to realize there's an infinite number of other paths one can navigate during life that run parallel to the mainstream. Take the expressway of life, or take the back roads - either one will get you there, but only one has all the charm of Route 66.
You say that ONLY a swingers group or polygamy can strengthen a tribe.... I'd be embarrassed to flaunt my ingorance for all the world to see. I really hope you don't realize how unflatteringly close-minded that statement is. You know, that's okay, though. If you're content to find one other person that is as blind as you, get married, make lots of little close-minded babies, and never know what you're missing, far be it from the scenic route of life to invade on your trip. Enjoy!
Gigi
A tribe is banding together of individuals with a common purpose or goal to form a unit that benefits all members. A tribe's custom defines itself - it's social rules and rituals are set by those within it. My tribe is polyamorous, with great emphasis, encouragement, and high value placed on openness, honesty and direct communication in all topics. We consider a situation or idea on our own, form an opinion, and then share it. We are receptive to the viewpoints of others, and mutual respect always trumps pettiness. Call me crazy, but it's working so far.
If polyamory "will not work" for someone, it may be because they have given their sexuality alot of thought and come to their own independent conclusions about what they want and those conclusions happen to fit into mainstream western society. (I know a few people for whom this is they case - they really have *chosen* monogamy). Or, more likely, they haven't thought far enough outside the box for long enough to realize there's an infinite number of other paths one can navigate during life that run parallel to the mainstream. Take the expressway of life, or take the back roads - either one will get you there, but only one has all the charm of Route 66.
You say that ONLY a swingers group or polygamy can strengthen a tribe.... I'd be embarrassed to flaunt my ingorance for all the world to see. I really hope you don't realize how unflatteringly close-minded that statement is. You know, that's okay, though. If you're content to find one other person that is as blind as you, get married, make lots of little close-minded babies, and never know what you're missing, far be it from the scenic route of life to invade on your trip. Enjoy!
Anonymous
The point of human existence is to connect with other beings.
So it doesn't matter if it's one or many just connect.
Such is the realization of the universe.
Anonymous
The point of human existence is to connect with other beings.
So it doesn't matter if it's one or many just connect.
Such is the realization of the universe.
Blackwedo
The more people in a relationship: a lesser overall financial burden, an easier upkeep of a household, more leisure time to spend together, and the lessening of any chance of cheating.
On the outside looking in it seems as if many of the polys i've encountered are either totally open and promiscuous or open to many random partners. If thats the case, you might as well be single, fucking anything that moves on the barfly circuit.
The monogamous relationship between three unexchangeable partners seems almost lost in the mix. It could be the most beneficial as well as the most revolutionary. Who's to say three people can't love each other or more than one person? Maybe it will be the next created tradition (Gay Marriage) to divide us all.
Blackwedo
The more people in a relationship: a lesser overall financial burden, an easier upkeep of a household, more leisure time to spend together, and the lessening of any chance of cheating.
On the outside looking in it seems as if many of the polys i've encountered are either totally open and promiscuous or open to many random partners. If thats the case, you might as well be single, fucking anything that moves on the barfly circuit.
The monogamous relationship between three unexchangeable partners seems almost lost in the mix. It could be the most beneficial as well as the most revolutionary. Who's to say three people can't love each other or more than one person? Maybe it will be the next created tradition (Gay Marriage) to divide us all.
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